My Mate, Marmite

“These are dark times, there is no denying.”

– Rufus Scrimgeour, 2011.

Today, lovers of the world unite to support our fallen brothers in Denmark, as jars of the dark stuff is pulled from the shelves. Haters have declared Marmite “unsafe” and demanded that it be taken away. Apparently, according to a law established in 2004, Marmite falls foul of the “no fortified foods” bit (which is something to do with the vitamins Marmite contains. VITAMINS!). The Danish Veterinary and Food Administration (I would personally suggest is a slightly odd combination…) are the ones to blame for this outrage. It has been suggested that we should ban lego, in retaliation. I suggest that we all take a moment of silence, to respect this loss for all the lovers in Denmark. I would also urge any Britons who are travelling to Denmark to stock up, and spread the love among the Danes. They need our support. Fill a shoe box with Marmite rations for our friends in Denmark, and then find a Dane to sponsor because I don’t know where to send them – but I do know we must help them in these testing times.

“Nice To See You, To See You Nice!”

Last night I travelled to Teddington Studios to watch The Rob Brydon Show being filmed. Bit of waiting around, and we were very lucky to get in (had we been 5 – 10 minutes later, we may not have made it…) but it was definitely worth the two-hour trip. Little man trapped in a box voice? Oh yes. We even got to see his long socks. Bruce Forsyth was lovely, and he has literally been performing forever. I definitely have a new-found respect for him, especially for his answer when asked if he had any regrets. True honesty is something you rarely see in showbiz, and Bruce replied “oh, of course I do.” Sophie Ellis Bextor was the musical performer, and despite looking like she’d snap in half any second, she is looking pretty good. Lighter hair, a very 1980’s LBD (complete with giant pink bows as trim) and a killer pair of heels. Instantly recognisable as Louboutins, I’ve done a bit of research, and they are Eugenie Satin Pumps. Not as keen on them now I’ve seen the detailing close up, but from a bit of a distance, they are stunning. The best part of the show (Rob Brydon aside) was the stand up that Rob had on. Elis James, an up and coming comedian from Wales was hilarious. He’s got a face that is vaguely recognisable and I had the feeling I’d seen him somewhere before… but I’ve had a look and I’m still not convinced. He won ‘Best Comedy’ at the National Student Radio Awards in 2006, supported Rhod Gilbert on tour in 2008 and 2009, and was met with rave reviews for his performance at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival. I’m looking at upcoming gigs at the moment, as I’d really like to see a bit more of him. Won’t be ordering any for a while, as I am monumentally poor.

Other amazing things I have seen this week include this Marmite computer mouse, or “Marmouse” as it has been creatively dubbed. You can purchase them at www.marmite.co.uk. I rarely sit at a desk to compute (it is one of the highlights of owning a laptop) so I don’t really have the capacity for a mouse. If I did, this would be the one I’d choose. I’m a lover.

Also, due to some fidgeting with the settings on here, you might notice that on the right, there

“She Died From Three Bullets”

Today was slightly less stressful than yesterday, and I managed to go to the cinema and watch Hanna. Before I start talking about the actual film, a quick side note. We went to a Vue cinema, and were slightly disturbed by the creepy night vision clips they had showing in the entrance. When I say clips, I mean CCTV footage of people in other screens. Now, don’t get me wrong, CCTV is fine, and it makes sense to have night vision on since cinema screens are so dark. Broadcasting it for all to see whilst queuing for films? A tiny bit odd. Do they do this in all Vue Cinemas? Keep it in the backstage areas please!

Back on topic… the film is amazing. On its own, the storyline is actually pretty good – but much of the brilliance has to be attributed to Saoirse Ronan. She is incredible! The story follows a 16 year old girl who is trained by her father to be the perfect killer as she travels across Africa and Europe on a mission. It has all the usual action bits, but it also has the added awkward teenage parts from a girl who has never interacted with anyone other than her father. Ronan plays the part so well, it is hard not to fall in love with her. I am yet to see her in anything else, but as a big fan of The Lovely Bones book I’ve definitely added the motion picture to my must watch list. The sad news is that she announced last week that she won’t be in The Hobbit, as has been rumoured since January. She conveys such emotion and innocence, Ronan was perfectly cast for this role. The film has a few other big names, Eric Bana (mmm) and Cate Blanchett (NOT Tilda Swinton, although with the same hair easily confusable I think…) are the main two, but don’t add a huge amount to the film. Cate Blanchett gets a bit teary-eyed in parts, but is then supposed to be believable as a cold hearted ass-kicking CIA agent who shoots people in the head and has a child killing streak not unlike King Herod. I’m not sure which side I prefer, and I understand that good and evil is never totally clear cut, but I think its slightly confused. Having said that, it doesn’t take anything away from the film, and as an all rounder, its pretty good. Honourable mentions need to go to Olivia Williams and Jessica Barden, the mother and daughter (respectively) from the family Hanna first interacts with on the outside world. Both Barden and Williams are hilarious as the typical middle class British family, and add a certain humanity to the film.

For the first time outside a musical, I am excited for the soundtrack. The Chemical Brothers have done a wonderful job, and I am looking forward to listening outside the context of the film, as I attempt to cram some last minute revision in. It has also added nicely to the Glastonbury anticipation, because I will now also get to hear it whilst drunk, in a field. Bliss. Today I was reminded that I get a whole week peace and quiet at home when I get back. The joys of half term. Before that, I have an exam to get through. Earlier comments on a previous post have now made me slightly concerned I am going to be ravaged by badgers as soon as I enter the sports hall.

I’d Like a Refund Please

“I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.”

– E. E. Cummings (1894 – 1962)

As a student, I don’t expect to have an abundance of money. I’m not saying that I savour every last penny of my loan, or that I am in any way sensible with the small amount of earnings I make. The tuition fee debate over the last 12 months has sparked a lot of controversy, and many people are angry about this – most of us know that politicians stretch the truth as far its elasticity will allow. Nick Clegg, I am talking about you (again). You have lied to us, and we are hurt. The worst part is, it is, and always will be us that have to pay. Nick Clegg will never know the heartbreak of telling his children that he simply can’t afford to put them through University. Recently it has been announced that many Universities will be charging the full £9,000 for fees, that was supposedly going to be reserved for “very special circumstances”. Clearly old polytechnics up and down the country are just that.

As the second year of my degree draws to a close, I don’t have to worry about these extra charges. I feel deeply for those that do. I know smart, brilliant people who will now not be attending University because the fees are too high. People that wanted to become doctors, people that given the chance want to be able to help other people. I, like many others, am angry, because this is extortion and because there is nothing we can but recess into a deeper class divide. My fees will total roughly £10,000 when I leave education, which is a lot of money. I came into this with open eyes, and I was fully aware of the charges I faced. The main issue for me? The fact that nothing works.

The University I currently attend has announced that from September 2012, the full £9,000 a year will be charged. At the moment, £3,225 is ridiculous. I went into the library on Wednesday, to print an essay. When I arrived, I discovered that the servers were down, which meant I could not access the internet, which included the email with my 3,500 words in. I could, and should, have backed it up – problem solved. Except none of the printers were connected to anything, which meant it wouldn’t have made any difference. On Friday, I went back in to print something totally different out, only to find that the problem hadn’t been solved and there was not one printer in the entire building that worked. Today, Monday, I called the finance office to see if I could obtain a letter to give to the bank, and how long this would take to process. I was told that I could go in today and pick it up there and then. When I arrived, I was informed that the servers were still down, and even if they weren’t it would take until Wednesday morning to process. And that is only if the network is back up and running. I know that you can’t expect everything to work all the time, and given the amount of usage and pressure the systems are exposed to, it is only a matter of time before something breaks. However, with 18,000 students, each paying on average £3,000 a year, you’d think that they would be able to afford to get somebody in to fix things faster. Apparently, this is not the case. Had this been an isolated incident, it would be a slight annoyance. Add to unavailable tutors, disruptive building works and extra charges for societies – I’d like my money back please? I know I’ll only spend it on shoes and bags that I don’t really need, but at least I’ll be able to enjoy it.

I am aware its been a while, so just to cheer things up; in other news and in true British fashion, I’d quite like the weather to make its mind up – scarves and sunglasses is a very hard look to pull off. I’ve got less than a week left of year two, and it would be nice if for at least some of it could be spent in a beer garden! Very excited for Rob Brydon on Friday; slightly concerned that they’ve called to ask if I’ve got any funny stories. I’m sure I have plenty, but I’m not certain how many of them are suitable for broadcasting. I have discovered that Bruce Forsyth will be the main guest for the event. Glastonbury is just over 5 weeks away, and I still do not own a tent or any wellies. I have an income now though, so I shouldn’t have any problems getting it sorted!

Britain’s Got Talent… Oh, Wait, That Appears to be France.

Okay, so apparently Britain’s Got Talent are now accepting applications from people who need translators to apply. So, he was vaguely talented. But he doesn’t even go here. This is an outrage. Ant and Dec definitely feel the same way – you can tell by the sarcastic smirk on their faces when they asked if he’d come over just to apply. I’m only shocked that Michael McIntyre didn’t say anything. I know he took the mic out of the translator, but that was all? Really? Shocking behaviour. Definitely confirmation of the fixed outcome of the programme, and thus the reason I will desist talking about such rubbish.

I have done a LOT of shopping this week, and my favourite item so far is my brand new French Connection maxi dress – £50 from Asos.com. All I can say is amazing. I love maxi dresses, not only because they hide a multitude of sins, but because they make me feel like an absolute goddess – and goddess I am not. Usually I would be slightly reluctant about spending as much money on something as plain. On this occasion, I am so glad I did. Okay, so £50 might not seem that much, but I am supposed to be a penniless student (dresses like this are probably why). It is so soft, and it is so flattering and I actually don’t think I want to take it off. Definitely my fail safe dress for the  summer.

I have a busy few weeks ahead. Last essay due in this Wednesday. Exam the following Thursday. Then Rob Brydon baby! Off to the BBC recording studio in Teddington to watch the filming of the Rob Brydon Show. Excited is not the word! No news on who the guests will be, but in the last series he had Alice Cooper, Tom Jones and Stephen Fry so I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for somebody awesome.

Today I discovered Michael Eavis once came to my house. It was at some point before Glastonbury last year and I have only just found out. As a journalism student, it is beyond me why people do not tell me these things. I have been getting excited about the festival again, this time channelling my attentions into Wellington boots. I have decided I am going to treat myself to some Hunters – possibly after my wages have gone in. Still trying to decide on the colour. I’ve narrowed it down to jewel green, violet, pillarbox, cobalt, and aubergine. I’m also very tempted by the navy Huntress. Updates to follow, but if anybody has read this far and would like to make a suggestion I would very much appreciate it.  Answers on a postcard please. Failing that, the comments section below would be just as good.