My Mate, Marmite

“These are dark times, there is no denying.”

– Rufus Scrimgeour, 2011.

Today, lovers of the world unite to support our fallen brothers in Denmark, as jars of the dark stuff is pulled from the shelves. Haters have declared Marmite “unsafe” and demanded that it be taken away. Apparently, according to a law established in 2004, Marmite falls foul of the “no fortified foods” bit (which is something to do with the vitamins Marmite contains. VITAMINS!). The Danish Veterinary and Food Administration (I would personally suggest is a slightly odd combination…) are the ones to blame for this outrage. It has been suggested that we should ban lego, in retaliation. I suggest that we all take a moment of silence, to respect this loss for all the lovers in Denmark. I would also urge any Britons who are travelling to Denmark to stock up, and spread the love among the Danes. They need our support. Fill a shoe box with Marmite rations for our friends in Denmark, and then find a Dane to sponsor because I don’t know where to send them – but I do know we must help them in these testing times.